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Frank Susu Okafor: Do Most Ladies Even Know The Benefits of Being Married? "Real Women Cook" #WifeNotCook

In honour of the just concluded International Women’s Day in which I
appreciate all positive women in my Life, but I still need to drop my
point of view on this trending matter #WifeNotCook.

I am of course prepared for any criticism this post will encounter, but I spark a debate by implying “real women know how to cook.” I stand here to say that Wives /Ladies who don’t know how to cook are
Lazy personified which is why I wrote this with a very strong
convictions and reasons both biblical and societal.

I find it very irresponsible that some women go to the salon or visit
friends for a whole Sunday to gossip and cannot find time to prepare
those Meals that can make a Man Sneak From A Football Match Just For A

You will agree with me that there are women over 19 who do not know
how to prepare Good Meals, but can dance to different kinds of music
in clubs. I mean, a Woman Should Learn How To Cook Before She Can
Taste Alcohol Or Bend Over In Clubs.

The bigger scandal is that women born after 1980 cannot prepare proper
meals to sustain a marriage. Now we have a generation of men who will
never know the healthy and spiritual benefits of a proper homemade

Back in the day, women were expected to know how to cook. We can thank
the almighty social media for exposing us to the over sharing of personal information. I have witnessed women brag about not knowing how to cook. And some of them take pride in being modern women who
went on to obtain “DEGREES” instead of learning to bake. I’ve also
been no stranger to bearing witness to full-blown debates between
women who could cook versus the women who couldn’t.

Lets Get Back To History

At least one common cause of the housework gap can be traced back to
childhood chores. A variety of studies have found that girls are asked
to do more work around the house than boys. One study found that girls
did two more hours of chores a week while boys got twice as much time
to play. This dynamic carries a lesson for both genders: girls learn
that housework falls on their shoulders, and boys learn that girls
will clean up after them.


It is indeed true that most religious and traditional doctrines
stipulate that the man is head of the family and the woman should be
submissive. But we both know domestic laziness does not make the man
head, just as ability and willingness to cook does not make the woman

Anyone who eats should be able and willing to cook. It’s only fair that way.

Pastor Adeboye said to rapturous applause.

"Don't marry a woman who can't cook," "A girl who cannot cook will not
be a good wife."
Same way "Don't marry a man who has no job… A man is to provide for the
house, not the other way around."

What Does It Mean To Be A Woman?
Being a woman is more than biology, and maybe it even goes beyond
critically looking at gender as a social construct.

A Lazy Wife - Wives Not Cooking & Doing Domestic Chores Is A Sin of LAZINESS

You come home from work to find piled up dishes from dinner the night
before. Clothes are everywhere and nothing in the house has seemed to
move while you were gone – including your wife. Your wife says “Honey
I don’t feel like cooking – how about you run and get us some

While both genders struggle with all types of sins including LAZINESS
there are some sins that are more prominent in one gender over the
other. For instance men often struggle with having a lack of empathy,
grace and mercy in their personal relationships including their
relationships with their wives and children. But on the other hand,
one of the greatest struggles for many women is the struggle against
the sin of laziness.

The reason for this is because women can often times allow themselves
to be completely controlled by their emotions. For many women if they
feel like doing something then they do it and if they don’t feel like
doing something then they don’t do it whereas most men are creatures
of duty so whether they feel like doing something or not men will do
their duty.

Imagine that your son or daughter left their bed a mess and left toys
and clothes all over their room. Would you go in and make their bed
and clean up their clothes and toys? If you did this would this be
showing your child kindness, empathy, grace and mercy? I think we
could answer this question with a resounding “no”.

Why? Because if we go and clean up their room we are not teaching them
that it is THEIR responsibility to clean their room. We are in essence
enabling the sin of laziness in our children when we allow them to
keep their rooms messy.

But somehow our modern culture has a different standard when it comes
to a woman keeping her home which is something the Bible clearly

“4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own
husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” – Titus 2:4-6 (KJV)

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide
the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak
reproachfully.” – I Timothy 5:14 (KJV)

The Bible says
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head
of the church” (Ephesians 5:23) and Christ tells us regarding his
churches that “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous
therefore, and repent.” (Revelation 3:19).

PLEASE NOTE - Disability Is Not The Same As Laziness

Now I need to stop here and give the obvious exceptions. If your wife
is sick or somehow physically unable to keep up with the affairs of
the home then this is not a matter of laziness on her part but rather
the inability to do these things. In this case God has called us as
husbands to lovingly step in and aid our wives.

Traits of a Godly Wife

1) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Modest in Her Dress - Then out
came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty
intent. (NIV). (Proverbs 7:10)

2) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Holy in Her Conduct - Come, let's
drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love! My
husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey… (Proverbs 7:18
- 29, NIV)

3) A Godly Woman Seeks to Care for the Home - She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands. (Proverbs 31:13, NKJV) She manages
her home well (Titus 2:5.) She loves to tangibly serve others with
food and skills. She has a home that is open and hospitable and she is
given to ministry to the sick and needy and less fortunate.

4) A Godly Woman Seeks to Serve Others - She also rises while it is
yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her
maidservants. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out
her hands to the needy. (Proverbs 31:15, 20, NKJV) She has learned the
love of Christ for others.

5) A Godly Woman Strives to be a Person Who Can be Trusted - The heart
of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need
of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life
(Proverbs 31:11-16).

6) A Godly Woman Seeks to be Prudent in Financial Matters - She
considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.
She makes linen garments and sells [them,] and supplies sashes for the
merchants. (Proverbs 31:16, 24, NKJV) She is a saver not a spender.
She can see beyond today alone.

7) A Godly Woman Seeks to be a Hard Worker - She girds herself with
strength, and strengthens her arms. She stretches out her hands to the
distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. (Proverbs 31:17,19, NKJV) God
puts a premium on hard work and so she moves toward it not away. There
is no slothfulness, indolence or lack of motivation.

8) A Godly Woman Seeks to Do the Right Thing and Have a Good
Reputation - Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among
the elders of the land. (Proverbs 31:23)

The level of laziness and dearth of creativity is not only annoying,
but quite unsettling. Even worse, the number of women who know how to cook proper meals is on a sharp decline. We now have a generation of millennials who know
how to mix their liquor punch better than brewing good tea for breakfast. Just about the only other thing they know how to dish out is fruit salad (in which case three-quarters of it will be watermelon and paw-paw, which are really terrible fruits).

Now, the only place the newly-married man can go for a proper meal is
at his mothers or his favorite aunt’s place. That is where his best
meals are served, yet he is married, pays rent and even has children.
#Ojoka #GodForbid

I find it very irresponsible that some women go to the salon or visit
friends for a whole Sunday to gossip and cannot find time to prepare
those Meals that can make a man Sneak From A Football Match Just For A

Now to Men; There are many POTENTIAL reasons that might lead to Wives
Not Cooking. What doesn't change is how you could be handling this.
Start picking up some of the slack. Take over dish duty and vacuuming.
It sounds like she usually exclusively takes care of all domestic duties, but you are a partnership.

SHE IS YOUR WIFE, NOT YOUR MOTHER. You bear some responsibility in helping keep a tidy home, and food to eat. If she is Choosing To Strike, showing her you notice and care will make a difference. If she
is depressed, showing her you appreciate and care for her will make a difference. If she is ill, showing her you care for her and can pick up the slack will make a difference.

I remain

Frank Susu Okafor
Entrepreneur | Consultant | CEO Colossus Gists

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